His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
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