Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
No I am not eating basil off your cock
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
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