Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
