Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
