So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
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