When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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