I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
My hand turned me down
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Randomize
