I look better un-naked...
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
Randomize
