Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Randomize
