What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize