There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
