I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
Never underestimate the power of titties
Randomize