bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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