Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
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