I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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