Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
There r osticjed everywhere
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
