marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Randomize