this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
