so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
