My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
Randomize
