I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
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