Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
I smell stomach acid.
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
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