The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
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