You really coming over, don't trick.
I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Randomize
