what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
Randomize
