Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
