Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
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