a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
I have feelings that need drinking.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
Randomize
