When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
I wear drunk well.
Randomize
