I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
Randomize
