Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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