Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
