I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
