I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize