I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
Randomize