Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
Randomize
