walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Randomize
