im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
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