I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
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