I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
You need a sexual gate keeper
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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