fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
