You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
don't judge my taste in strippers
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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