he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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