no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
Everyone says I win the strip club
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
I love you. Go after that dick
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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