The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
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