I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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