i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
