Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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