Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
Randomize