I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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