I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
Randomize
