He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
