the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
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