Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize
