You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
Boobs are out for the taking
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
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