was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
