Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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