I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
Randomize