i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
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