Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
