i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
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