Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize
