when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
The struggles of a small town man whore
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize