Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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