Me. At least after what I've been through.
I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
Randomize
