Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Randomize
