You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
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