is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
Randomize
