listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Randomize
